I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize
