And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
