she looked like the bat from fern gully.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
