Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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