it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
