Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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