You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
