Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I need moral support for this bender
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
