Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just threw up on my dentist
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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