Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
