'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
