eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
