we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize