two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
