your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
