Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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