some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
farters have to be the big spoon...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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