oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
