All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
