wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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