my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just had sex on a roof
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
