I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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