How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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