he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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