butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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