I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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