Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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