There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
