oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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