SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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