My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
