I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize