ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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