he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
