Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
