he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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