So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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