I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
