I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
