we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
