Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
