Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
