Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
