i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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