Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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