and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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