Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
