I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
