It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Boobs speak an international language.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
