Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
