Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
